anxious about anxiety

Sounds like a pan full of popcorn ready to blow.

And mostly impossible.

Not so unbelievable, however, when the knot that sits heavy on the end of your sternum continues to wedge itself between your lungs, pushing the air out between your ribs. Causing side ache and heart ache and and all sorts of crazy-ache.

The worst thing in the world is knowing exactly what you know and need to know and not feeling able to match your actions and emotions to that knowing.

The “you” in this context being ‘me’ of course.

“Wisdom makes decisions today that will still be good tomorrow.” She wrote and I read, dread flushing my face with embarrassment and my ears growing hot like the fools we all know.
I smack myself with the piece of hindsight that has 20/20 blasted all over it and reach out toward the scripture flickering past me as I wait. I know that all too familiar choking is just me being pre-anxious about being anxious about messing up. Again.


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